micro fiction + weird prose poetry

Micro/Twitter Fiction

(6 words) Vodka Night. Condom split. ‘Oh shit!’

 (120 characters) I searched my wife’s browser history. Google search results: ‘How to enjoy a small penis.’ I think my wife is cheating on me!

 (120 characters) I visited a brothel on my stag night. My father in-law knows. But he won’t say anything because he came too.

 (120 characters) Fired from work today. The tranny belched at a table nearby. ‘That wasn’t very lady like’, I just couldn’t help myself.

 Prose poetry
‘Mortuary mounting at 8’, read the message. Timothy was the most explicit user of our illicit service provided at the feral funeral parlour. He was not dissimilar to others in that he found a deep attraction to the dead’s pallor. However, Timothy was never satisfactorily relived with mere ogling or the careful caressing of corpses. No, his depths of depravity were whips, chains and the romping of remains.

 You may ask why I allow the desecration of dearly deceased Grandma. Well, if you are no longer living and lovely you won’t notice a thing anyway. The thought of a tibia bone making a teasing truncheon is too twisted for most to contemplate. Even the bible does not forbid this seductive sodomy as it is too repulsively repellent to rationalise.

 Timothy’s action after a modest transaction. 90-year-old female: all decomposed: ‘Quick! Off with the coffin pall!’ 6-year old male: freshly dead leukaemia sufferer: ‘Splendid to embed’. 23-year old female: decapitated car crash victim: ‘Kinky casualty’.

 I like to think we offer a sellers service to the lowest of earthly dwellers: repressing these bottled-up body-snatchers burdens the buried in being an unburied bike. Sex and death are intimately alike: both affect you and are next to you. Maybe inside of you too. The slapping of cerements is quite literally the fatal attraction.

 Everyone ends up in our hands. Dead. Cremation plans won’t spare you from funeral fondling. It won’t stop Timothy with a hellish hard-on from masturbating into your urn and making a sadistic stew out of your ashes and his cum.