"Hi Misanthrope, long time no see," said the pram pushing girl. My attempt to maneuver my back towards the girl in order to shield my identity had failed miserably. I wasn't in the mood for "catching up" with inane chatter or speaking to people who I have no interest in knowing.
She picked up her little bundle of horrors out of the pram, which hid her enormous belly (she must be expecting a second at the age of barely 17) and stared at me with verbal expectation.
"...a lucrative career in chronic breeding, slut," I muttered under my breath still not facing her properly.
"Sorry?.." She said.
"I said... great to see you, cute kid you have there!" I said feigning enthusiasm.
This of course a double lie. I wasn't please to see her nor was her child 'cute'.
Why do mothers insist that all kids are cute? I've seen some disgusting little runts out there and this future criminal was up there with the ugliest.
I didn't know whether to offer my condolences for giving birth such a putrid creature or to call NASA and inform them that the invasion had begun.
"His name is David, but this one wasn't planned", she said proudly pointing to her belly unaware of my prior sarcasm.
"Ohhh, accidents happen you know," I said wishing that the 'accident' she suffered was falling down the stairs instead of her panties being ankle warmers again.
I was quickly weighing up my options on what to say next.
Having a kid and no father is a terrible situation. Mothers may as well stick a large fluorescent sign on their head saying "most unfortunate make-shift father needed". It's a truly terrifying thought.
What made matters worse in this pandemonium is that informing them that their child is potentially from Mars is often considered quite rude.
"It must be so rewarding being a single mum and no dad," I said, I was nearly about to punch myself in the face for saying something so ridiculous.
No doubt this girl had barely embarked on a long career of government reliance. In a society that morally endorses abortion why heavily subsidise the despicably irresponsible?
"Oh Misanthrope, how sweet of you! I didn't know you liked kids?" she asked.
I couldn't take this nonsense any longer. I needed to run home in order self-medicate by drinking heavily alone. I made my apologies and said that I needed an urgent psychiatric appointment and scuttled away quickly to avoid any more unwanted social interaction.
Obviously, I do like children, but only when they are well-behaved or locked in cages.
Nobody wants to be responsible for anything when there's a possibility to just make the problem go away before it gets here.
ReplyDelete"the poor are getting poorer and this is a terrible horrible evil wrong!"...that's what some say, but look at how the middle classes wasted everything when they had more wealth...giving the poor more is likely to just give us more poor in the end; oh, and more pollution too.